Book ReviewBook Title: Dealing withdifficult peopleAuthor: Ken Pierce Weencounter people all the time. We work, live and interact with them.
We cannotignore the fact that we have to interact with all kinds of people around us,not only the ones we are comfortable with. Dealing with people is all aboutlearning. We cannot just do it in a day. This learning is based on pastexperiences. This book is all about developing understanding skills, learningthem, practicing them and at the end implementing them to prove that you cancommunicate with anyone. This book will help the readerto develop skills to deal with difficult people and would have a better idea ofdealing with people around them. There are five major points that the author discusses.
First is the perspective,any habit or thing is not good or bad. It is our perspective that we categorizeit as good or bad. According to the author we develop perspective from pastexperiences; we take decisions based on those past experiences.
But thesituation is not same all the time so he advises the reader to have a broaderperspective.Second tells usabout the types of psychology. Howreader can use the new psychology methods to deal with difficult people butaccording to author both the new one and old one is necessary for survival.
Themost important point is we should not assume what others know about ourintentions. It gives us tips to make our intentions clear. Author discusses theeffects of reader’s misconception of others or others misconception of thereader. Throws light on Edward Deming’s work, the famous American managementconsultant.Third is based ontwo theories.
First is the Nature Law Theory (Natural law refers to the use ofreason to analyze human nature to deduce binding rules of moral behavior fromnature’s or God’s creation of reality and mankind, Wikipedia) and the Second oneis the Choice Theory (All we do is behave, that almost all behavior is chosen,and that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, loveand belonging, power, freedom and fun.). The author relates human behavior withthese theories and also gives the solution by these theories.Forth is about theChoice Theory’s seven principles and its seven hidden tools. The sevenprinciples are about needs of body and mind; creating value system; everyonehaving a special value system because of difference in perspective; thebehavioral choices; composition of behavioral system; levels of thinking; howthese levels are linked to our feelings.The fifth pointbeing the most interesting one, a walk in the park, is M shaped problem solvingtool. We can easily deal with difficult people by following the five benchstrategy. It gives guidance to difficult people with an opportunity to solve aproblem.
Author also demonstrates the three ways to communicate i.e.carelessly, carefully and caringly. At the end there isa case scenario for readers to get a better idea of dealing with difficultpeople.