I found my dad’s best friend after he committed suicide. I think I was 4 years old. We lived in the same apartment complex. He came to visit us that night, said his goodbyes and killed himself when he left. I used to go to his house pretty much everyday to play video games and hang out with him and his girlfriend. Well the next morning I found him when I was walking to his apartment and seen him sitting down by the laundry mat covered in blood and flies. I ran back home and told my dad. I had no idea what had happened at the time, I didn’t understand what death meant. I was always confused when my dad would tear up and tell me that I couldn’t go over to his house.This is not the first time research has shown that a child’s environment growing up can help determine his or her future health. This isn’t even the first time that scientists have linked environment to DNA methylation and methylation to health (these studies have been done in mice). This is, however, one of the first and most complete investigations that show that epigenetic modifications created by the environment have lasting effects on human health.FreddieBucky have you gone to therapy? Someone yesterday told me about a trauma therapist that their friend goes to and he has worked wonders for him. I don’t know where you live, I’m in LA, but look into trauma specific therapy. Also EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and TBM (Total Body Modification) work wonders. I go to a chiropractor who also does those two practices and she has been working on healing me from the emotional muck of my childhood which includes being raped/molested around the age of 3, beat by my aunt/mother from 6-18 and rape at 19. Know there is help out there. Ask your husband to stand by you and support you and understand that what you are going through can be healed and his love and support mean a lot (if that is what you want). Also Alice Miller is a wonderful author to look into. I just finished her book The Truth Will Set You Free- Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self. All of her books are about childhood abuse and trauma and how the affect us and how we can move towards healing and clarityThank you so much for your honesty, your vulnerability, and your willingness to put those painful pieces out for us to read. I have never been the “fat kid,” but I have had friends who were, and as a highly sensitive child myself, I remember being horrified at the things people would say and do to them. I am so glad you are finding a place of peace with your past, and using the things you’ve learned to not only help yourself, but to give insights to others.One was the first time someone asked me “Why do you walk funny?” I have Cerebral Palsy, and as a child (pre-Kindergarten) nobody ever really explained this to me. I had never seen myself walk, so I thought I walked like everyone else. It was an eye opener, and I learned that how you see yourself and how others see you are not the same thing. Plus, while you may think it’s beneficial to tell your child they are “just like everyone else” in a situation like this, where I clearly wasn’t, it would have been nice to know before hand. And when I was around 12 and I truly realized how much of a problem my father’s alcoholism was. He showed up at my door with a bag of popcorn and a large pizza for the sleepover he was convinced I was having (and most certainly was not). My family enjoyed the food, I was upstairs in my room crying.posted by aclevername at 11:06 AM on February 4, 2005It would have to be that One Time in woodwork class. I was the geeky, shy guy with the glasses and good grades. I was having a particularly bad period at school, and the “tough” guys in class were pressing all the right buttons that day. On the verge of sobbing uncontrollably in front of the whole class, all the feelings turned to rage. I swung my still unfinished wooden baseball bat at the back of the head of the leader of the gang – and missed. Afterwards, I was certain that I would have killed the other person if the blow had hit. I thought myself a horrible person, and the memory still pops up when something really good happens – “You shouldn’t be allowed to have a good time.” I’ve thanked God several times for giving me another chance. Just in case he exists. It probably influenced my suicidal thoughts, which lasted throughout secondary school. I’ve never been in a fight since, and I abhor violence in any form.posted by trez at 10:48 AM on February 16, 2005When I first started Mrs. Wheeler’s First Grade, I didn’t view myself as a very creative person. Two years later, I would say that I am. I look at everyday objects differently now. Instead of looking at an object for its main use, I think, “How can I use this in my classroom? Can it be a game? A center? A classroom management tool?” I look through teaching resource books and think to myself, “How can I make this better? How can I make it more applicable to first grade?” I would have to credit this shift to blogging and experience.I was always a little bigger coming up, so I know how you feel. I, too, took a lot of ribbing from other students about my weight. I used it to motivate me to be the best that I could. I was the first kid in my family to graduate from college, and here I have turned my hobby into a wonderful job that I love!
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